“If I were a rich man…” sang Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.

If I were a rich man, then I could be a self-supported missionary!
If I were a rich man, I wouldn’t stress about support during recessions.
If I were a rich man, I would not need to stare at needs beyond my means.

I enjoy reading the story of Jesus feeding the 5000 with a small boy’s lunch, multiplying a few fish and loaves into a banquet for all.  I shake my head at the disciples’ doubt, wondering why they just didn’t trust Him to figure it out.

But I must confess, feeding the 5000 is easier preached than practiced.  I’m more like the disciples than Christ; staring at the pittance I have in my hand rather than seeing the potential of God’s miraculous provision.  I have wonderful faith to feed the 5000 when I have a trailer full of 5000 prepackaged dinners.  When I am stuck with a tuna sandwich, my faith takes a nosedive.

Finances may not be fish and bread, but I often feel like the disciples staring at the crowd.  “Lord, Moldova is so needy, and there is so much potential to build the Kingdom of God.  Yet all I have is this small lunch!”

When I read reports of global financial crises, it is easy to start wondering if my small lunch just got smaller.  Am I now working with only one fish and a half of saltine?

It is easy to worry.   To fret.   To fear.   To wonder if we should just hold back and slow down the work.  Maybe it would just be so much smarter to ease up and not tackle another need, another project, and another ministry.

Yet I was challenged last Sunday when our colleague preached on sowing and reaping.  “He that sows generously will reap generously.  He that sows sparingly will reap sparingly.”  Generosity is not dependence on resources, but on the heart.

How do I want to spend my life in Moldova?  Do I want to spend it tackling small needs that are within my means or the to attack challenges that require faith and sacrifice?  Do I want to focus on what I have within my grasp (5 loaves and 2 fish) or on what God wants us to do (feed the multitude)?

How are you going to face the challenges that you see daily?  How are you going to respond to the needs in your own area?  Are you going to sow generously or sparingly?

“I wish I were a rich man….”

Jesus doesn’t want a self-supporting missionary, but a God-dependent one.

“Lord, help me to sow generously, not in fear and conservativeness.  Give me wisdom to understand your call to faith, and the difference between faith and stupidity.  Help me to plan and count the cost, but not give in to a spirit of fear.  And give us a generous harvest.  Amen.”

Trusting in Moldova,
Andy Raatz